You know the saying that every girl’s gotta have a little black dress? Yeah I have like 4. Luckily though, in university there are always reasons to get dressed up. Like, 2 weeks ago I went to the university’s annual charity ball and just yesterday my sorority had our biannual crush event.

I love picking out a dress, shoes, doing your hair and makeup... ok yes, sometimes I am a girl.

But before university, I had never really had to figure out how to wear a dress or anything with my ostomy. Where did I have to go? I was in high school. From some lucky coincidence, my prom dress had ruffles at the front and covered my ostomy and it really wasn’t a big deal.

As soon as I came to university, though, I realized prom dresses weren’t going to cut it at events, and I had to really search for some nice dresses.

The  ones I’ve bought and worn recently have been pretty risky. [Not style wise... though yes they are kind of risqué] I’m talking about actually wearing tight and short dresses that require minimal underwear. Minimal. As in- a piece of floss... if you know what I mean.

Normally, I like to wear normal underwear or whatever with a pair of boyshorts on top. It keeps everything in place and I feel secure during the day to go about my business. But with the tight dresses I wear, there is no way in hell I could wear those boy shorts.

I get asked a lot how I’m able to wear what I wear and still hide my bag. I answer with 2 things; 1. I have to make sure that it’s not so skin tight that you can see every ripple in my body and that it has some kind of fold or crease or something to hide the one area on my right side where my ostomy is [a ripple or fold goes a long way in hiding it]. 2. I say you have to take risks; and when I say risk I mean, you have to be able to flow freely and hope your bag stays where it’s supposed to. I know it’s not a risk you want to take when you’re going out and having fun but eventually, I got used to it.

Finding dresses has got to be one of the most difficult shopping trips a female ostomate can make. It takes time, and finding the right dress, the right size, and the right bag distraction can be tough- but it is possible.

I know formal season and prom season are coming up so I wanted to write this blog to offer a little bit of help. If anyone has any questions about dress shopping or anything, just comment below or on the facebook page :]

<3

Oops.

I forgot.

As of January 31st, 2010- I have had my ostomy for 7 years.

Wow, it's so weird to think about. I actually remember the month before and after surgery like it was yesterday. I remember almost everything I saw, felt, and had to learn. I remember getting told I needed an ostomy and I remember going back into class a month later and explaining to my classmates what I had just gotten.

And that was 7 years ago.

Back when I was younger my family and I would celebrate my bag-a-versary every year.

Then we started to forget

I actually only remembered it today.

I mean, it's not like I forget because it's not important or anything, but I think my ostomy is such a part of my life now that I just forget it's different. I forget that I had a day of surgery that changed my life. The change is just who I am.

Oops.

Oh well, happy 7 year bag-a-versary to me :]

Team orange

I was just in the library a little while ago and I was bored so I started looking through my tagged pictures on Facebook and came across this one. [can you spot me? I’m in the tiara. Don’t ask lol]

It was taken with my cabin/team/friends of Horizon Summer camp at the end of our week together back in the summer of 2007. I still remember that week, and the week I went in 2004, like it was yesterday.

Horizon Summer camp is located outside of Calgary Alberta, hidden in the mountains. It is a summer getaway for kids [and some adults] with all sorts of illnesses and disabilities. The two years I went, I went for ostomy camp.

Not every kid that went to ostomy camp, however, had an ostomy like I did. Yeah, there were the kids with the good old ileostomies, like me,  but there were also the kids with colostomies, urostomies, kids with their “bags” on the inside, and kids who had gotten their ostomies reversed. There was a wide range of us, and we all learned from each other.

I don’t even know how to talk about camp because being there was not something you can just type out. I mean, I can say how we did all the normal summer camp things like swim, rock climb, arts and crafts, food fights...etc, but Horizon was so much more than a normal summer camp experience.

I know this, because I went to normal summer sleepover camp too. So not the same.

There was something different with this camp.

Our campfire activities did not just include scary stories of axe murders, but they were also about scary hospital stories. Swimming was not just about jumping into the water, but about learning which types of bathing suits to wear and how to wear them with our bags. Bed times were not about staying up late and talking about boys we liked, but actually about how to tell these boys we had ostomies. Camp was not just about getting over the fear of having an ostomy, but also getting over the fear of white water rafting [which I did].

Camp was not just camp. Camp was a support system.

Not only did I have other campers to learn from and who could learn from me, but I had counsellors, nurses, and volunteers there as well. The counsellors were there to make sure we went to activities and didn’t disappear to do our own thing. They were the watchdogs. One counsellor told me that she noticed how the ostomy group was much harder to control because we were just like normal kids. Duh.

The nurses were great too because, obviously they were there if we had any issues, but mostly they taught us tips and tricks with products and gave us information on potential problems and ways to avoid them. It was a resource not everyone had been able to have back home.

...Now I don’t want to come off  biased or mean or anything... But the volunteers were definitely my favourite people at camp [besides the kids]. These volunteers were people, with, or without ostomies, who just wanted to come lend support and join in on the fun of camp. It was great to hear stories and tips and learn from the volunteers who had ostomies who were older. It was nice to see what the road ahead could lead to. It was also great to have volunteers who didn’t have ostomies. I actually asked one volunteer why he volunteered if he didn’t have an ostomy. He told me it was because he wanted to help the kids. In the end, however, he ended up telling me that instead, the kids had helped him by showing our bravery and our courage. We taught him a thing or two!

I’m kind of sad now, thinking of all this... I haven’t been able to go in a few years. When you hit the age of 18- you graduate. So in 2007, right before I turned 18, I graduated Horizon. The rule goes you can’t come back and volunteer until you’re 21. I’m 21 this Sept. So to see if I could bend the rules, I sent an email to the coordinator of the camp, Pat, hoping to hear good news. Well I did hear good news- the camp is expanding and they are taking in way more campers! That means tons more kids can now go to camp and experience all the same things I did. That really puts a smile on my face. On the flip side/selfish side, however, Pat, told me I’m being put on a list of people who also want to volunteer and I’ll be told if I’m chosen since there are too many....

I hope I’m chosen.

So a little while ago my best friend/boyfriend/exboyfriend Mike decided he wanted to write a blog about ostomies. It took me a little while to get around to posting it, but here it is...

"I’ve never written a blog before, and I do not intend on making it a habit. My roommate/best friend Josh and I have known Jess since the first day in first year. We lived in the same residence, down the hall from each other. About three days after moving in, I began to pester Jess to go on a date with me, but she seemed to find every way to avoid it. Eventually after the multiple rejections, we became extremely close. One day, she gave me a slight run down on her ostomy, and everything that went with it. I then proceeded to research for a few hours about Crones disease and having an ostomy.

In fact, soon after I learned about it, I spent another few hours researching where to get an ostomy cover (I didn’t know how comfortable Jess was with it, so I thought if she was self conscious it might be nice to have one of these covers, I think she has used it all of one time).

Fast forward through to the end of second year, and the beginning of this past summer, Jess and I began dating. Not a surprise to pretty much everyone who knew us.

Dating a girl that has an ostomy is absolutely no different than dating a girl without. In fact, the rare time that Jess feels self conscious about it I tell her, “I chose bag over no bag” . It interferes with absolutely nothing within our relationship. It is part of who Jess is, and I think it has made her into the strong, outspoken, charismatic person that she is today.

I’m not going to lie, I was uncomfortable with the campaign when I first saw the pictures. Jess had already been in a few Western newspaper issues, pictures that I would occasionally find hanging on my friend’s walls. I eventually got over it, I am proud of her for everything that she has done.

I guess the moral of my first, only, last blog is, I will never be able to relate to anyone about having an ostomy, but it affects nothing about who that person is, if anything it adds to who they are. Awareness about ostomies and the like is something that has changed my life, and I am proud that it is such a large part of Jess’. That’s about all I have to say, apparently business kids cannot write essays or blogs or anything of substance in Jess’ opinion.

The End
P. S. I know that at least one person would like a shout out on my only blog ever....Hi Josh."

I’m sorrryyy I know I haven’t blog in FOREVER, it’s just been crazy right now! After new years, I had to re-immerse myself back into the real world. I had to pack up my things, spend time with my family, then move back to my apartment in London. As soon as I got back to my apartment I had to unpack and clean. My time now has been consumed by classes and work shifts and throughout all of this, my sorority has been having it’s biannual initiation week. This is the first time I’ve really been able to sit down and type, and it’s only because I’m waiting to meet a group of fellow classmates to work on a project already due next week.

I know it may sound like I’m complaining- but I’m not [for once haha]. Life’s becoming normal again AND in a good way! I’ve enjoyed all of my classes and professors, I’ve had fun and easy workshifts, and I’ve spent an insane amount of [amazing] time with my sisters while we go through the motions of initiation week.

…You probably don’t know what initiation week is… Wellllll:

Initiation week is a week we have twice a school year to welcome our new member class of the semester into the sorority as full blown active members. It includes nightly ceremonies introducing the new girls to the values and mottos of our sorority as well as fun events to bring us closer together as sisters. We’ve been playing games and eating a lot of food while getting to know each other better. That has really been my favourite part. I learn more and more each day how supportive my sisters are and it makes me unbelievably happy.

For example, last night, we were all hanging out in the chapter room chatting in various groups. One of the new girls, Ashley, asked me about my ostomy. She knew I had one because of my facebook picture and the fanpage, but she wanted to know more about it. So I started explaining it while a few more girls starting listening. About 3 minutes later, every girl in the room was looking at me while I spoke. One girl said she didn’t know what it looked like. What did I do? I stood up on the couch and showed my ostomy to everyone. After that, heads nodded, people seemed to understand, and some girls began to make funny comments or jokes. One of the girls, Tamara, said “I’ve poked it!” while others laughed, not at me, but with me I sat back down and conversation continued until it flowed its way into another topic.

I sat back down with a huge smile on my face.

I love my sisters.

Well, that’s all I have for nowwwwww. Hope everyone’s been having a great new year!

PS; New year= new people to tell about Uncover Ostomy! Spread the word :]