One of the best traditions that we have at ostomy camp is our final campfire. It’s a time for everyone to talk about the experience they had that week at camp, send love to someone who couldn’t make it that year, or tell everyone there how much they mean to them.

In front of the campfire this year, someone came up and said a little speech. This person talked about how camp was where we all felt comfortable, happy, and secure with who we are. Camp was where it didn’t matter what we had, because at there, everyone was accepted.

Camp, they said, was the way the rest of the world should be and that we had the power to make it so.

I completely agree.

We do have the power to make the world as amazing as ostomy camp.

As individuals, we can make the world as accepting and comfortable with differences by talking about them and being comfortable with them ourselves. We can teach those who don’t know and we can show that there is never anything to be ashamed about.

I don’t think I talk about this enough, but this campaign was created to do just that. It was made to teach those who didn’t know about ostomies what they are and that we, as ostomates, or we, as people who know about ostomies, completely accept them.

It is our duty, as individuals, to make the world like camp.

Tell people about your ostomy or, if you don’t have one, tell people that you know about them or know someone who has one. Explain what it is, show them the Facebook group, and show them the website.

Then, tell me about it!

I’ve decided that I want to name these, what I’m calling, “Ostomy Ambassadors”.  

As I see them, I will blog about them and say what they have done to help spread the word. So far I already have 3 I want to write about because they have come to me and told me what they had done. They also told me how great they felt by doing it.

So to all of my followers- Invite people to the Facebook page, show off the website, tell everyone you know about what “ostomy” means, and tell me about it! Write it on the Facebook wall, or post it here, or send me a message- anything.

Do whatever you can to be an Ostomy Ambassador

Thanks guys :]

Well it’s safe to say that having an ostomy definitely does not stop me from being in normal relationships… and dealing with normal stupid relationship drama.

Then again, I don’t know if you could have ever called my relationship with Mike normal.

I’m sure some of you remember my blogs over the past year that rambled on about how he had broken up with me again and again and again. He had many different reasons for it each time he had done it, but the most recent reason that had used the last few times was his ridiculous obsession with success. He had some personal issue where he needed to make tons of money and have a great job to know that he was a good person. He’d break up with me over that, then realize a week or two later that he made a mistake. He’d claim he would think about me all the time and that having someone you care about around is more important then anything else. He was just saying that. When he broke up with me in May it was the same thing. It was because of the foreseeable 100 hour weeks and his inability to focus on a person he had spoken of many times before. I was done.

And I was. I moved on, dated around, and enjoyed myself. It was weird to be dating again but it showed me even more than having an ostomy didn’t stop guys from being interested. I’d add them to Facebook, they would see my profile picture [same as the Facebook fanpage] and they’d still ask me out. I really forgot how ok with ostomies people are. Well, at least the people I come across.

Anyways, so I was fine. Moving on etc etc. And after 2 months of no contact with him [well, minus the text or something here and there to tell me how “proud he was” of me] he started emailing me constantly. I told him time after to time to stop, to just leave me alone. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. I told him to get over me, move on, focus on something else, but he refused, saying he was wrong and how he realized that I meant more to him than any job or amount of money could mean. We started communication again. He would send me email after email or text after text of how he had changed. He promised that everything was different. At first I didn’t believe him. Well, why would I believe him after everything that he’d done before? But as the weeks went on he started telling me all these things in his life that he was doing that he used to make fun of, or swear he’d never do. It really had seemed like he had changed, and for the most part, he had. Eventually…

I gave in.

We got back together.

And you know what? Things were actually perfect. I was in a normal relationship without fighting, without constant breaking up, with happiness and new and exciting things. It was great.

But, of course, good things never last.

While we started to talk again, Mike had been accepted into the business school at my university. This was one of the things that had caused a strain with us before. Him getting in meant that that strain would be gone, I thought. But this was a big deal, especially for him. It was everything he wanted. His future was right in the palm of his hands because of this school. He was going to do everything he could to make sure he didn’t let the opportunity pass.

And that he did.

Last night he told me that he just couldn’t be with me. He couldn’t balance me and school. He needed to put all of his energy into his studies so that he could be successful, and make money. All he ever wanted in life was money. He knew that he would be giving me up, giving up our future, and he knew that this was going to be it with us.  No matter how much he loved me, he said, this was his personal issue that he could never get rid of.

Even though he said he had.

I’m going to be honest and admit that I feel pretty stupid right now. I don’t often admit that, especially in public, but I did make a stupid mistake. I knew that this would happen again but I ignored it. I also made the mistake in letting you in on that part of my life when I should have known it was going to disappear again.

I’m referring to the blog I wrote about the lavaliere that he gave me. I wrote it mostly because he wanted to feel a part of my life and I knew he knew that I always write about things in my life that are important to me. So I did because he was. Though, I guess now, I’m taking it back.

Anyways, thanks for reading. I kind of needed to vent it all out, you know? It just makes me so mad that someone who spent 4 years trying to be with me because they were so “in love with me” decides that money’s more important.

I just hope when he’s old and grey and he comes home to his empty nest with just a pile of money, it keeps him as warm as I did.

Anyways, at least through all this it proved that I still deal with normal everyday things that every other girl my age does, ostomy or not.

Sometimes though, I wish my ostomy did make a difference.

Maybe it would help filter people out haha.

<3



After my last blog post, I wasn’t really sure what kind of response I was going to get.

I wasn’t sure if people were going to mad, or upset or just not understand what I was trying to say.

After letting the blog sit for a little while, I was happy to see all the positive response that the Facebook page was getting for the post. I’m really happy that we’re all on the same “page”.

On that note, I’m not the only ostomate who has a life outside of the bag.

All the positive response has shown me that there are tons of other people out there who do amazing things and they don’t let their ostomy get in there way. There are also a lot of people who know ostomates and who don’t let those get in the way of their relationship, friendship, or the things they do together.

There are a lot of positive things going on in the ostomy world and I want to hear about it!

I’ve decided I want to start highlighting other ostomates or people who know about ostomies or whatever it is for the amazing things they are doing or have done. I want to mention some great people who are living the life they couldn’t have without their bag or without knowing about them.

Post here, facebook message me, or comment on the blog. I want to hear your story :]

Recently, I have been questioned as to why I blog about the things I blog about on my… blog.

Why do I blog about sorority things on Uncover Ostomy and not about ostomy things? Why wasn’t this stuff on a separate personal page? I thought that this deserved an answer

When I first conceptualized this campaign back in grade 12, before IDEAS and before it was called “Uncover Ostomy,” I had created it in order to spread awareness ABOUT ostomies. It was to teach those who had never heard of them what they were, and how they helped save lives. It was aimed at the general public- the audience that had never heard of what an ostomy was.

One of two images used in the original campaign

The main message of the campaign was to teach those who were unaware, however I didn’t ignore the underlying message that having an ostomy was nothing to be ashamed about. I thought that if the general public became aware of what an ostomy was, then ostomates themselves could feel free to say, “oh yeah, I have one of those!” and have their peers know and understand that having an ostomy did not change who they were or what they could accomplish.

The second image used in the original campaign

This is exactly what the Uncover Ostomy website was intended to do- show ostomies in a positive and normal light. The blog on Uncover Ostomy was put there so that I could talk about being a university student, being involved in clubs, and hanging out with my friends. My normal  life. The blog was actually not even something I had thought of in my original campaign plan. John, from IDEAS, came up with himself and thought it would be what would sell ostomies the best. It was not intended for me to discuss my life based around my ostomy, but to discuss my ostomy based around my life. It was meant to show that I could do anything and more that I wanted and having this thing on my stomach would never hold me back. That is what the blog was created for, and what I am still using it for today.

When Uncover Ostomy was created, John and I had sat down and discussed the nature of this campaign. IDEAS wanted to help me send the same message I had created in grade 12 in anyway they could, and they were. Through our discussion, however, John noted that because we were leaning towards social network sites as a major advertising medium, allowing for open discussion, we really couldn’t control what the campaign would evolve into. And we haven’t controlled it at all.

The Facebook page, which provides discussion for Uncover Ostomy, has evolved, on its own, into something else. It has become a support group, a place for ostomates to discuss issues, ask questions, and find others to talk to about the ostomy.

What I have realized is that now most of the action happens on Facebook. It happens within the wall posts and comments on the page and simply uses my blog as a discussion springboard. The Facebook page has essentially taken over as the message spreading medium. It promotes Uncover Ostomy more as a support group than an awareness campaign which it was originally created to do. I never imagined this as an outcome, but I am overwhelmed with joy to see that it is.  

I am now aware of the fact the messaging of this campaign seems to be getting skewed. While both messages are amazing and great, I just wanted to take this time to make sure everyone was aware of where the campaign started, where it has been going, and what the intentions are.

The Facebook page is now not only a medium for advertising the campaign but is also a support group for the online ostomy community, and the website and blog is the medium to promote ostomies in a positive and normal light.

I hope this clears everything up :]

One of the things I love about my friends is how they like to make fun of me. I know that probably sounds really weird… I like being made fun of?

Well, yeah actually, I kind of do.

My friends tell me they make fun of me because they know I can handle it. They know I can take a joke and that I laugh along with them. That’s a good trait, right?

One of the many jokes about me among my friends is that I don’t eat.

I don’t really remember how it started, I just know that last year with my crazy school schedule it was hard to have regular eating habits and, well, people noticed and made fun of me.

Luckily now, because I have a regular 9-5 Monday to Friday job, I have time in my day to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner like a regular person. It’s completely evened out my eating schedule and I’m back to normal. Now I eat regularity. Apparently it freaks people out.

Well tonight I went out for dinner with my friend Kaitlin to one of my favourite restaurants called Spring Rolls. They have this special going on called “Springrollicious” a play on the “Summerlicious” that we have here in Toronto. “Summerlicious” is a summer event where restaurants have a set menu with a set price for customers to try out a full course meal. Man was it good.

So good, that I ate everything. Literally, everything. An entire full course meal.

Kaitlin was shocked. As she should be, right? Grossman never eats.

Well, another thing my friends joke about is my ostomy. In a good way, of course. They say they make fun of it because they know how secure I am with it, and, well, because I make fun of it too.

Kaitlin herself likes to make comments about it so tonight, in her shocked state of mind, said that she was worried about my bag. So shocked that she exclaimed,

“Wow Grossman, you ate a lot. Are you going to have to replace your bag a couple times because of it? Or like… double bag it? You know, just in case…? Can you do that?”

Double bag it.

Well that’s a new one.

Apparently, she thought that, “you know,” you might need some extra protection.

No Kaitlin, it doesn’t work that way.

Haha, I love my friends.